This is an autobiographical post. The names of people and places may be changed.
We decided to write autobiographical posts about the colorful life we have lived. There will be tales of sleeping in a campervan on the beach, of defending a bird’s nest from a snake, and of running away from wolves while sick with bronchitis. There will be tales of diagnosis with PTSD and ADHD and how it changed our lives, of meeting biological family, and of job loss. It’s a tale of overcoming challenges, of finding out who we are, of love, hope, cats, and of a marriage that’s gotten stronger through it all.
Autobiography Post 23
A New Best Man
It was a sad set of circumstances that ended us up in Hawaii June of 2014. Dorian’s family was close with another family throughout his life. So much so that the other family’s son, Cameron, was like a brother to him. And when he was killed in December of 2013, it left a gaping wound in their lives.
Especially the life of Cameron’s older brother, who was in the Navy and stationed in Oahu. He had met a local woman and had a wedding planned. Cameron was supposed to be the best man. In honor of their friendship and family ties, the groom asked Dorian to represent Cameron’s memory and be the best man.
Dorian and I were only dating at the time, but we both planned to go. Not only to visit Hawaii, but also to show our love and support for the family.
Third Parties
We had a rough idea of where we would stay and what we would do while we were in Hawaii. But after a few months of planning Dorian’s parents, sister, and her then-boyfriend (now husband) decided they wanted to come, as well. Our trip got a bit hijacked. Dorian’s mother took charge planning everything. It was a bit frustrating, but we did have a lovely time with the whole family (even his usually bad-tempered sister) and his parents were kind enough to pay for the rental house we all stayed at.
My First Flight
This was my first time to ever be on an airplane. I get motion sick and I have ears really sensitive to air pressure changes, so I was feeling incredibly nervous. I remember getting on the connecting flight from Tulsa to Denver. The plane was tiny and I felt like I would throw up from nerves. Dorian fell asleep next to me.
It was scary at first, and the takeoff and landing hurt my ears. But overall it was an easy experience. We flew two hours to Denver, and then took a nine-hour flight to Oahu. I still remember how cool it was to see the Rocky Mountains under us (not knowing we’d end living next to them in six years), and seeing the California coast pass by under us.
Let’s put this trip into some perspective. Dorian’s family traveled a lot, though mostly to the same destinations. Colorado to go skiing. The Gulf Coast and the Florida Keys. And places like Arkansas for camping activities.
My adoptive family was travel-adverse. They hated anything that wasn’t Owasso, Oklahoma. I remember one trip to Sea World in Texas when I was little, and another accompanying my adoptive father on a work trip to Phoenix. But otherwise, the travel bug was all me, stemming from my biological family’s wanderlust.
Traveling to Hawaii was a huge deal! At the time, this was the biggest adventure of my life.
Traveling the Island
We were in Hawaii for a week. We stayed at this amazing rental house right on the beach. The owners had built that house back when no one lived there. But now it was worth a lot, so they rented it out and had their own luxurious house built right next to it. We got use of their private back porch and yard.
We visited so many places!
- Pearl Harbor touring the USS Missouri Battleship
- Beaches and restaurants at the North Shore
- Botanical gardens to which I don’t know the name
- A hiking trail by a lighthouse
- The hiking trail in Diamond Head
- Shopping in Honolulu
- Paddleboarding and canoeing
We ate at this same restaurant for breakfast many times. Their pancakes were amazing. It was my first experience with macadamia nuts in pancakes. A love that has continued to this day.
The Diamond Head Hike
Diamond Head is a crater from a volcano. It’s really striking and beautiful. There is a park and hiking trail within. It was an arduous climb, though we were young then with plenty of energy!
One particular memory stands out. After the hike, Dorian and I were sitting in the park eating shaved ice. We saw an emergency medical helicopter fly overhead and up to the summit. We gave concerned remarks, when a local man turned to us.
“Yeah, people collapse up there a lot,” he said. “They’re not ready for all the stairs.”
We got to talking with him, and learned some fascinating things!
“It wasn’t always this busy, it wasn’t always a tourist spot,” he said. “I remember coming here as a kid and it wouldn’t be busy at all. Where are you two from?”
“We’re from Oklahoma, we’re here for a wedding.”
“I’ve been to Oklahoma! I actually moved over to the mainland and worked in a few states for some years.”
We laughed. “It’s much nicer here.”
He chuckled in response. “Yes. It would be the middle of summer in Oklahoma and I’d be working outdoors thinking to myself ‘why am I here? I could be on the beach!'”
Indeed. Why are we all anywhere when we could be on the beach? The beach is my happy place. Little wonder in 2023 we’d move to one.
The Wedding
The actual ceremony took place in a little chapel. It wasn’t big enough for everyone, so people were standing around. It was quite a charming and casual affair. However, the little chapel had no AC and it was June.
The poor bride kept fanning herself, saying, “It’s so hot! Can we hurry?”
The party afterward did have AC. We moved to a large event facility and had a great party! Hawaiin food, dancing, chatting, it was a great time! It is definitely one of my favorite weddings I’ve ever been a guest at.
Lost With No Bandaid
I’ve got one final story to wrap up our Hawaii vacation. A memory we look back on the most and laugh about. The entire family was signed up for surfing lessons. I am not a strong swimmer, but thought I’d be okay. However, after experiencing the ocean for the first time, I had doubts.
Worry gnawed at me the two-hour drive we took up to the North Shore. We parked by this fancy-looking building and Dorian’s parents went inside for us to check-in.
They came back out not looking happy.
“This is the wrong place,” his mother sighed. “This isn’t where we are supposed to have surfing lessons.”
His father looked sheepish. “I got the names confused.”
The depth of the mishap was much greater than it sounded. We were on the completely wrong side of the island. We had no chance at having our lessons.
I had another problem that needed my attention. I was wearing wet shoes and they’d rubbed the back of one heel raw. It was about to bleed, and I had no bandaid. When I asked if Dorian’s mother had one, she suggested we go into a nearby hotel and ask.
The hotel was called Turtle Bay Resort. Dorian and I walked inside. I went barefoot to prevent more pain. The lobby was absolutely gorgeous! It was all open-walled with views to the beach. We went up to one attendant.
“Hello,” I greeted politely and shyly. I worried about being turned away since we weren’t guests. “I need a waterproof bandaid. Is there one here?”
He bowed courteously. “Of course, ma’am! Please go to the shop over there, they will have what you need. Can I help you with anything else?”
Dorian and I were taken aback. He was so polite! We thanked him and got the bandaid. All the staff was so incredibly helpful and kind. I assume they were under the impression that we were guests, and that the guests that usually stay here are rich.
We’ve always said since then that one day we’d return to Turtle Bay and stay there.
Afterward
I remember returning from the trip and telling my adoptive family all about it, showing them photos.
My adoptive mother said, “I’m really glad you got to do something interesting like that one time in your life.”
I knew that wasn’t true.
I was just getting started.
