This is an autobiographical post. The names of people and places may be changed.
We decided to write autobiographical posts about the colorful life we have lived. There will be tales of sleeping in a campervan on the beach, of defending a bird’s nest from a snake, and of running away from wolves while sick with bronchitis. There will be tales of diagnosis with PTSD and ADHD and how it changed our lives, of meeting biological family, and of job loss. It’s a tale of overcoming challenges, of finding out who we are, of love, hope, cats, and of a marriage that’s gotten stronger through it all.
Autobiography Post 7
When We Knew We’d Get Married
We knew we’d get married a few months before we actually got engaged. It would mostly be small comments like “When we get married, we’ll…” and “Our honeymoon will be a huge party…”, etc.
In 2014 we decided to book a cruise. Dorian had been on cruises before growing up, but I never had and thought it seemed so exciting. We were young and didn’t have a lot of money, so we looked for an affordable cruise about 14 months in the future so we’d have plenty of time to pay it off.
As we were deciding between two cruises, I said, “You know, a cruise to the Caribbean would make an amazing honeymoon.”
Dorian perked up. “Well, if it’s going to be our honeymoon, then we’re choosing the 7-night cruise.”
And so we booked it. We had a date for the honeymoon. Which meant our wedding date was already decided. It would be two days before the cruise, giving us one day to drive from Oklahoma to New Orleans and spend the night there before boarding the ship the next day. It would be November 27th, 2015.
Dorian popped the question during the night we watched the Golden Globes. He had the fun idea to dress up in a suit and dress like we were at the event. We were also eating pizza which made everything fun haha. Throughout the show he started giving his own awards for various things that had happened in our relationship. It was super cute, and I started to suspect this might be the time.
With the last question he asked he was down on one knee with a ring in his hand. He’d secretly propped up his phone to record the whole thing, and I thought it was perfect. He knew I didn’t like big crowds or public displays, so an intimate moment between the two of us was special. The station he worked for at the time put up a picture of us, and we still have the screenshot to this day.
Planning the Weddding
We had 10 months to plan the wedding. If you want to hear about wedding drama you will be disappointed haha. We are both easy going people. It was an easy planning process, and we didn’t spend much money at all because we used friend discounts for services. For example, we were friends with a photographer, and friends with a DJ who threw in lights for free, etc. We paid for 90% of it ourselves and I can say with certainty that everything turned out exactly as we wanted it to. We planned every item together, and had a blast doing it.
I will entertain you with the only incident of drama that happened. I made a seating chart and I wanted to get approval from both sides of the family before the layout was finalized. I ran it by my adoptive mother who said it was perfect. Then I ran it by my mother-in-law.
“You are the bride!” she exclaimed. “It’s not for me to make changes. Whatever you say goes. It’s your wedding.”
The day we actually did the setup for the wedding, it seemed like those conversations never happened. Immediately my mother-in-law came up to me complaining about the seating and saying things had to be changed.
“It’s no problem,” I said. “You can move people if you think they should be closer.”
Not only did she move her own family, but she moved mine, as well. Which caused my adoptive mother to come to me.
“Our family is now sitting all in the back. Can I move the seats around?”
I refused to get involved in this drama. “Go ahead,” I answered. “Do what you need to.”
I was subjected to an hour of both of them “secretly” coming to me behind each other’s backs asking permission to move seats around, undoing what one another had just done. I pretended not to know what was happening. I wasn’t going to get drawn into their drama. And now that I’m older and wiser, I will say I think it’s ridiculous two middle-aged women couldn’t talk it out and come to an agreement between the two of them instead of acting like children.
Our wedding took place in the evening. Our theme was “starry night”. It was a magical experience. Leading up to the wedding, plenty of people warned us we’d have no time to eat, and everything would just be a blur.
But that wasn’t our experience. We got to eat our full meal and the cake. And I remember everything quite clearly. I remember the way all the mini lights reflected in Dorian’s eyes as we said our vows. I remember dancing to different songs. I remember posing in various photos, and going around and chatting with everyone. I remember taking time to look around at how beautiful it all was.
If any of you are curious about your own future wedding, I can say for certainty that I felt it. While saying my vows, while putting on the rings, while signing the wedding certificate, I felt it. I felt the importance of the moment, I knew my life was changing. It sunk in immediately and I was so happy.
We spent our wedding night at a hotel in the city. That next morning we did the long drive through Oklahoma, Texas, and into Louisiana. It rained most of the drive, so we got into town way later than we thought and crashed on the bed in exhaustion. The next morning we boarded the cruise ship. It was a confusing process. And the luggage examiner people weren’t happy about our sex toys and had us throw them away. When we finally boarded the ship, though, I was taken in by the grandeur of it all.
It was a trip around the Caribbean, stopping in Jamaica, Cayman Islands, and Mexico. We ate too much food and spent many hours lounging on the decks and watching the ocean. We did trivia night a few times and gambled at the casino. Once we got lost on the outside decks and ended up at the front of the ship where the wind was so violent it tore the sunglasses off my face and threw them down into a stairwell! Dorian rescued them and we quickly got inside with no idea what part of the ship we were on. We laughed the entire time.
Once we had room service delivered. The waiter took in all the decorations in the room and asked, “What are we celebrating?”
We smiled. “It’s our honeymoon.”
His eyes popped wide and he exclaimed. “HAPPY HONEYMOON!”
Of all the excurions, the jeep tour of Jamaica was our favorite. Our guides were amazing, and we saw so much of the island. It was the first other country I’d ever been to.
There was only one downside to the entire cruise. I discovered I get seasick. I was fine until about halfway through the cruise. When we were supposed to go to Cayman Islands, we had to take a small boat there because the ship couldn’t get close enough. The waves were massive, and shortly after getting on that boat I quickly got back off. I couldn’t do it. It was making me sick.
The last two nights I really started feeling it. We’d hit rough waters. The upper decks were closed and shows were cancelled for safety.
“I’ve never felt rocking this bad before,” an older couple on the ship told us. “I don’t think this ship has good stabilizers.”
When we returned to land, it kept feeling like the ground was moving. This lasted for a week afterward. I had to bring prescription nausea medicine to work to cope with it.
As much fun as I had on the cruise, I would never get on one again.
As I write this it’s been 8 years since our wedding, 10 since we started dating. It was an incredible time and a truly special memory. We wanted to celebrate us and our love, and that’s what we got to do. And each year has been more special the one before it.